Homepage of Bruce Fartwind - funny country music 

Back in 2023 I put out my first two country songs. Now the first one’s about a problem a whole lotta folks think is downright nasty. It’s kinda a taboo subject, but hey — I call things like they are. And truth be told, it’s mostly a male species kinda problem… at least I sure hope so. I love women and I really don’t wanna imagine y’all dealing with something that grim. Anyway, the song’s about the famous “shart.” You know… that fine little combination of fart and shit. So picture this: you think it’s just gonna be a small, harmless toot… and then, well… turns out a little more “material” showed up to the party than expected. Yeah. Not just disgusting — extremely uncomfortable when that happens. So naturally, I figured that was a topic worth singin’ about. All my buddies thought it was hilarious, and that’s how the song and the lyrics came to life. See, I love eating at diners. I love chili. I love spicy food. But almost every time afterwards… I regret it. Seems like that food don’t love me back the way I love it. So let me give y’all a friendly piece of advice from the heart: Always pack yourself a spare pair of pants.

Now the second song was called “Purity Cock Ring.” That one’s more of a comedy piece. I always found the whole idea of purity rings pretty funny — especially that whole super-prudish side of America. I mean… chastity in the 21st century? Really? There are still conservative folks out there who get all nervous about sex. So I thought it’d be funny to take the innocent little purity ring idea and mix it up with… well… a cock ring, and spin that into a ridiculous story. And honestly? I think it turned out pretty damn funny. What do y’all think?

Now fast forward to March 2026, and my very first album finally rode into town. It’s got 22 tracks on it:
•    12 full songs
•    1 bluegrass version
•    and 9 instrumental tracks - ’Cause let’s be honest — country music just sounds too damn good.
And yeah, you probably noticed… ol’ Bruce Fartwind did use a bit of modern technology. Artificial intelligence helped produce the album. But make no mistake — the lyrics and music are 100% mine. I just used AI for the production side, which means the sound quality turned out better than anything I’d done before. And these are some real good songs.

The very first track, “Back Boobs,” deals with a question that’s been on my mind for years: Wouldn’t it be amazing if women also had an extra set of boobs on their back? I mean… from a purely practical standpoint, certain positions would suddenly be absolutely perfect. But please — don’t take me too seriously.
Have a little laugh, don’t be so prudish, folks.

The second song goes right back to another important topic: Wet farts vs. dry farts. It’s a real outlaw cowboy kind of song. And I love it. Then there’s track three, “I’m a Fartist.” Which pretty much tells you everything you need to know. I’m not just an artist… I’m a fartist. A beautiful little word, if you ask me. I also included two new versions of “I Just Sharted in My Lorry” and “Purity Cock Ring,” since the sound quality is way better now.

Now for track number 10, I gotta say sorry to anyone with a delicate stomach. Something truly traumatic happened to me, and I just had to turn it into a song. Psychologists call that processing your trauma. And it’s the honest truth. Nothing but the truth. Even if it’s ugly… and kinda disgusting. I ended up writing a full musical-style country song about the biggest turd I’ve ever seen in a toilet — one that just would not flush. And the worst part? It wasn’t even mine. My predecessor left it there. I thought I was gonna throw up.

Ah hell… just listen to the album and decide for yourself. Love me. Hate me. Or land somewhere in between. Either way — I love y’all.
— Bruce 🤠