Intro
I'm so sorry for what I’m about to say,
So if you're squeamish, better run away.
But I saw something I can’t ignore…
And I can’t stay silent anymore.
Verse 1
Once I stopped at a diner off the street,
I had to poop, ran to the restroom, quick retreat.
Like Always I prayed it would be clean
But I saw the biggest turd I’d ever seen
Floating in this porcelain bowl
That Salami swam rounds in that hole
“My predecessor must’ve fled in shame,
Forgot to flush and dodge the blame.”
I pulled the chain with righteous pride,
Prepared to watch that monster slide.
But oh my Lord, it would not go —
It barely moved an inch below.
I flushed once. Twice. Three times more.
The pipes began to shake and roar.
But still it rose, defied the swirl,
That stubborn, unbothered, monstrous curl.
Chorus
This was the unflushable, unflushable , unflushable ,
unflushable turd
the unflushable turd
The wildest tale I’ve ever heard.
Brave pipes tried — but were defeated,
By that sausage undefeated.
Verse 2
What did that person eat?
Steel and gravel meat?
The Titanic broke in two —
But this brown legend just pushed through.
Unflushable. Unbreakable. Grand.
The strongest sausage in the land.
Like a Russian nuclear submarine,
It resurfaced slow and mean.
Down it went — then up again,
A porcelain horror without an end.
Chorus
This was the unflushable, unflushable , unflushable ,
unflushable turd
the unflushable turd
A story wildly absurd.
Legends will be told, I’m sure,
Of that beast the pipes endured.
This was the unflushable turd,
The wildest tale I’ve ever heard.
Brave pipes tried — but were defeated,
By that sausage undefeated.